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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27169954">Goodbyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/remuswriting/pseuds/remuswriting'>remuswriting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex, osamu and reader is mentioned, this is only angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:22:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27169954</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/remuswriting/pseuds/remuswriting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's too late to admit how you feel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Osamu/Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Goodbyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I just wanted to write angst, so this is what I wrote.  Also, Yamaguchi is a trans girl in this but it’s only seen at the very end, so it’s not a huge thing in this I just wanted to include it.  This was written in an hour and I just wanted to post it, so beware of it’s not fully edited (I only did one round of editing instead of three)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“If you don’t say something now, then this never happened,” Y/N said, and there wasn’t any fear or doubt in his eyes, unlike Tsukishima who felt those things trapped in his chest.</p><p>Fear ate at Tsukishima to a point where he thought that maybe he should say something because then the h/c haired man would stay.  They wouldn’t last though because the h/c haired man was confident and the blonde backed out of talking to anyone that didn’t approach him, even if they did try to talk to them; he shut them out.  Everyone lied and they would only turn on him in the end, so how would L/N would be any different?</p><p>“Are you really not going to say anything?” Tsukishima remained silent and Y/N scoffed and looked at the ground before he looked at the blonde.  His e/c eyes were full of hurt and it felt like a dagger stabbed Kei in the chest. “It’s been nice knowing you Tsukishima, it really has been.”</p><p>He didn’t give Tsukishima time to say goodbye as he started to walk off.  It wasn’t like they had been close enough for him to reach out to him to ask him to stay.  It also wasn’t like he wouldn’t also do that.  Instead he listened to the steps on the concrete and how the air felt as it brushed over him.  Then he felt how his hand nearly fit perfectly around the h/c haired man’s wrist.</p><p>“I love you.” It was desperate and Y/N stood still, not looking back at the blonde.  Kei could feel the other’s racing heartbeat through his wrist and it comforted him in a way. “Please don’t leave.”</p><p>“Pathetic,” L/N said as he pulled his wrist out of the other’s grip and he turned to look at the Tsukishima. His eyes were angry and fierce, something the blonde had always loved about him. “You really think saying that will fix all of this?  It really took me actually walking away to make you realize you want me.  You must think I’m pathetic enough to think this would work.”</p><p>He didn’t.</p><p>Kei knew this would make this worse but either way he was losing Y/N, so he might as well finally say it. He imagined that Osamu would say it every day when they woke up next to each other.  It was just that he regretted not saying how he felt because actions don’t always speak louder than words.  People needed to hear it along with seeing it and he never gave the h/c haired man both of those things.</p><p>He had the chance to say it to Y/N in the midst of a white comforter while the blonde saw him come apart as well as take him apart.  Or when they sat across from each other in the morning as they drank their coffee and L/N always laughed into his cup at some joke he read online.  Instead he was doing it in the middle of the sidewalk at 6pm on a Saturday because this was his last chance.</p><p>“I’m not going to fall down to my knees thanking you for actually wanting me back after I started to finally get over you.” Y/N pressed a finger into Tsukishima’s chest forcefully to where there was a real dent in his shirt and skin. “It’s not my fault that you can’t express your emotions.  We’re 23 years old, you need to learn how to actually create a connection with someone other than people you knew in high school.”</p><p>Kei would admit it hurt to hear that, especially after he had told the other how he didn’t know how to make friends.  The only way he got to know L/N was because the man had been persistent in a way the blonde had only really ever seen in Yamaguchi but the h/c haired man radiated confidence and certainty.  No matter the insult used against him, he just rolled his eyes and laughed slightly before saying how he doubted the blonde actually thought that.</p><p>“I didn’t know how to say it,” Tsukishima said and his eyes are so vulnerable that even he could feel and see it. “Everyone lies and leaves, so I never thought I could say it.”</p><p>“I told you I loved you.” There’s a pause that’s obviously only made so he doesn’t scream. “I told you I loved you after we had sex that I thought meant something but then you said nothing.  I thought that time was different but then you proved me wrong and it fucking destroyed me.”</p><p>He remembered that night when he couldn’t help but let his love show.  He remembered the gentle fingertips that ghosted along his sides and how he begged for more.  He had always wanted more when it came to Y/N, in every single way.  It was clearly different than every other time they had sex because it meant something unlike the pathetic friends with benefits thing they had set up.</p><p>“I was scared.  I’ve always been so scared,” he said and it felt like he was pleading.  Kei could feel his eyes start to water but he didn’t want to cry.  Crying always meant things were going to be cemented and nothing could change again. “I wanted you just to feel what I wanted to say; what I couldn’t say.”</p><p>The sounds of cars driving by, people speaking in the distance, and birds chirping were all that were heard between the two.  Y/N squinted at the other, as if he were studying him with this new information.  All Tsukishima could feel was how his heart pounded to a point he felt nauseated.</p><p>“No.” Y/N dropped his hand and took a couple steps back. “You don’t get to do this.  I told Osamu about everything between us and he still wants to be with me and expresses it.  He confessed to me before he ever mentioned having sex with me unlike you.  We got drunk and hooked up and you said we might as well do it again and I deserved better than that.”</p><p>This is where others would fight to keep the h/c haired man; make sure he doesn’t go to the other person. Now was the time there truly wasn’t a point for Kei to continue trying because Y/N was right.  He never gave what the other deserved and it was unfair to him and at least Osamu gave the other what he deserved and needed.  Part of him wanted to reach out and just kiss Y/N because maybe that would be his way of getting him to stay.</p><p>“This is goodbye.”</p><p>Tsukishima felt his chest ache on a level he had never felt before.  Who knew there was something more painful than losing a volleyball match that you put your all in or watching your brother lie to your face. He couldn’t do this.  This hurt too much.</p><p>“I really hope you have a good life.  I really do,” Y/N said with a gentle smile before he turned around and the blonde watched him walk off.  He watched until he could barely see him.</p><p>Tears dripped off his jaw and he hadn’t realized he was crying until he felt that.  His eyes burned and it only got worse as he wiped his eyes over and over again in attempt to make the tears stop.  He had always told himself he would never feel heartbreak because he’d never put himself in the position where he would have to one day.</p><p>His shaky hands pulled his phone out of his pocket and he quickly unlocked it and pressed the contact of the person he knew would always be there for him.  He knew she’d be with someone else and he needed that person too.  They had always been there for him when he needed them most.</p><p>“Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima breathed out once the call went through.  His breathing was ragged and he felt slightly lightheaded. “It’s over.”</p><p>“What are you saying?” She asked, voice so gentle that it made Tsukishima cry harder.</p><p>“Y/N ended things and why does it have to hurt so much?”</p>
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